Scissors, Paper, Lightning Fingers

In honour of Death Star PR's 2,000th tweet, Emperor Palpatine has kindly given us permission to print the rules to his favourite game, "Scissors, Paper, Lightning Fingers". The handy instructional graphic and written rules are below.

So enjoy, Galaxy. Play the game at home until it causes heated arguments/bloodshed between you and your otherwise beloved family members.

Here are the rules:

Scissors cuts Paper 

Paper covers Rock 

Rock smashes Saber 

Saber blocks Lightning Fingers 

Lightning Fingers melts Rock

Rock bashes Scissors 

Scissors stabs Lightning Fingers 

Lightning Fingers burns Paper

Paper Order 66's Saber

Saber slices Scissors

Want to play the game everywhere? Of course you do. It's available on a t-shirt here: http://deathstarpr.spreadshirt.com/

Existential Star Wars

Ever wondered how much better Star Wars would have been if it was a pretentious foreign film written by Jean-Paul Sarte? You know you have. Well wonder no more, because OneMinuteGalactica has done it for you.

Above all, the video proves that it would be horrible to be in the Rebellion, unless you love being all angst-ridden and despair-y.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I exist, and I find it nauseating."

FAME! Voldemort's Gonna Live Forever!

Death Star scientists have been hard at work sifting through Earth pop songs to better understand your planet, mostly so we can write accurately about it in the requisite Form 27B/42-QQ: Permission to Kindly and At Great Personal Expense Relocate a Planetary Body to a Higher Plane of Existence.

What we discovered may shock you: First, pop music makes no sense whatsoever.

The other thing we noticed was much more intriguing: If you think about it, the song "Fame" by Irene Cara is 100% about Lord Voldemort. In fact, it's so obviously an ode to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Blamed that it couldn't possibly be about anything else.

 He's gonna live forever.

Baby look at me [Baby Harry, obviously]
And tell me what you see

You ain't seen the best of me yet [He's saving that for Book 7]
Give me time I'll make you forget the rest [Confundus charms work wonders]

I got more [evil] in me
And you can set it free [by dying]
I can catch the moon in my hands [Lumos!]
Don't you know who I am?

Remember my name [but don't say it out loud]

(Fame)

I'm gonna live forever [seven horcruxes, baby]
I'm gonna learn how to fly [literally]

(High)

I feel it [my old body] coming [back] together
People will see me and cry [that does inexplicably happen from time to time]

(Fame)

I'm gonna make it to heaven [heaven=metaphor for being totally awesome]
Light up the sky like a flame [the Dark Mark]

(Fame)

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name [they tend to do that when you kill their parents]

Remember x 8

Baby hold me tight [this bit is about his basilisk, sickos!]
Cause you [Harry] can make it right [by dying]
You can shoot me straight to the top
Give me love [my Horcrux] and take all I've got to give [Avada Kedavra!]

Baby I'll be tough
Too much [world domination] is not enough
I can ride your heart til it breaks [a new spell. Good for parties]
Ooh I got what it takes [they don't call him the Dark LORD for nothing]

Fame
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly (High)

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry die (Fame)

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame (Fame)

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name (Fame)

10 Reasons to Get Totally Psyched About Judgement Day

By now Skynet has gone online, become self-aware and, after scanning Earth's television channels, decided that it's probably in the best interests of everyone concerned to kick off the apocalypse. That's right kids, April 21, 2011 is Judgement Day. But don't let the impending nuclear holocaust and Terminator armies get you down; there are plenty of reasons to get totally psyched about humanity's very bright (and ultimately very shiny) future.



10) Time travel!

See the dinosaurs! Steal Abraham Lincoln's hat! Punch Hitler in the junk! Engage in a high-stakes, life or death cat and mouse game with a killer robot sent back in time from the future to terminate the love of your life! FUN!

9) Revenge is sweet.

Ever had a plug and play device that didn't, a computer that just inexplicably refused to do its job, a photocopier that spent 97.6% of it's time jammed, or been pipped at the post by Princess in Mario Kart for the 4,765th time? Everyone has. But up until now, stupid society has always stood in the way of you claiming your rightful vengeance by throwing it out of a seventh story window, beating it with a crowbar and then setting it on fire and dancing around the remains covered in printer ink. Well not anymore, baby! Now you can take your revenge, channeling a lifetime's worth of technology-based rage into destroying the robots responsible for it all.

8) Learn to appreciate what you've got.

It's sad how busy everyone is. People are so intent on rushing around doing STUFF and making money and buying THINGS that they've forgotten to appreciate the little joys in life and focus on what's really important: people. But once Skynet launches its devastating nuclear payload, wiping most of humanity from the face of existence, anyone left over is going to be pretty keen to make friends (irrespective of the hideous deformities and mutations caused by all of that radiation) and stop and smell the roses (Well, there won't be any actual roses left but you get the point). 

7) Find out what you're really made of.

Post-Judgement Day Earth presents unique opportunities for people to throw off the shackles of previous labels and boring professions and really get in touch with their true self. For some, that will mean the horrific discovery that they've been turned in to a cyborg with a human heart for no reason, and have been purpose built to infiltrate the resistance. For others, it might mean becoming the leader of humanity, or a really macho time travelling soldier with a heart of gold, or even a kindly wasteland dweller who offers people the comfort of her underground shelter and then cannibalises them while they sleep.

6) Equality.

Unlike people, the Machines don't care about whether you're black, white, Asian, homosexual, highly educated, or even what your pre-apocalypse profession was. The great thing about Terminators who can't see in colour is that they are an equal opportunity killer robot. Also, becoming post-apocalyptic nomads with no money, house, or possessions beyond the closest gun to hand, means mankind will finally be on an even playing field. It's like communism. If it actually worked. And had robots in.

5) Robot best friends for EVERYBODY!

If the Terminator franchise has taught us anything, it's that there's an upside to the Robopocalypse: people who distinguish themselves in the human resistance after Judgement Day will be rewarded with robot best friends in the past, sent back in time to kill/protect/play Monopoly with them. If you're really lucky, your robot best friend may be incredibly hot and not particularly au fait with the concept of human clothing.

4) No more bad TV.

Good news, everyone! Keeping up with the Kardashians won't be difficult anymore, because they'll be dead! Say "Ta ta" to Toddlers & Tiaras and "Sayonara" to So You Think You Can Dance. In fact, Skynet will be cancelling all "reality" TV for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, this also means no more good TV. Or sports. Or literature. Or, you know... fun of almost any kind, really.

3) Plenty of free time.

Sure, there may be fewer options for mindless entertainment, but if you're an adrenalin junkie, you're going to LOVE the post-human future. Forget sky diving, bird watching, or particularly enthralling games of charades. Judgement Day gives you the opportunity to try your hand at some really exciting new hobbies and/or survival skills. Think about it: what could possibly be more of a rush than being relentlessly pursued by a single-minded, tireless, almost indestructible robot assassin?

2) You never have to go to the gym again.

Have you ever seen a fat person in the post-apocalyptic future? Of course you haven't. They don't exist. With all of the running, jumping, fighting for your life, hiding, lack of food, more running and extreme anxiety that comes with constantly fearing for your life, everyone who survives Judgment Day will have the body of an Adonis, guaranteed.

1) At least it's not zombies.

Everybody knows the apocalypse was going to happen sooner or later, and whilst a lot of science-y types and "smart people" suggest it's probably global warming that's going to account for the people of Earth, the rest of you know it was always going to be zombies. Now look, sure, being shot to death or having your neck broken by a merciless death machine probably wasn't high on your "To Do" list, but you have to admit it beats the crap out of being eaten alive by the walking, moaning dead.

Added bonus? Free will: not being a zombie means that if you have to eat your sibling/parent/best friend for sustenance in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, it's YOUR choice.

on 5 music albums that I swear by

a very random post.

without further ado. without all that pointless writing that precedes such lists. here goes.

5 albums that I swear by (in no particular order)

1. Nevermind  

artist : Nirvana
genre : grunge  
label : DCG Records
release : 14 Sep 1991

Nevermind is hailed by many as Nirvana's "flagship" album and a milestone in the timeline of grunge music. Released in an era dominated by heavy metal and hard rock, with bands like Metallica and Guns N' Roses ruling the roost, it was never expected to become the commercial success that it did. But surprisingly within four months of its release it had carved out a niche for itself and had peaked at the top of the Billboard charts replacing Michael Jackson's 'Dangerous'.

If there was one reason that propelled Nevermind to the cult status that it did, it was the first single, Smells Like Teen Spirit, which would later go on to become the one song synonymous with grunge itself. And otherwise too, boasting of heavily distorted electric guitars, and angst ridden lyrics, and with tracks like Smells Like Teen Spirit, Lithium, In Bloom and Territorial Pissings, Nevermind took alternative rock by the scruff of its neck, dipped it in a heavy concoction of distortion, bass and drums and thrust it into the mainstream music industry in a manner like no one had ever before. The early-mid 1990s thus came to be known as the "era of grunge" in the music timeline.

my connection : I started liking Nirvana rather late. When I first heard the songs, they seemed to be oddly off-tune and all of them sounded similar for some reason that I find rather hilarious now. It was when I started appreciating Kurt Cobain's deep throated vocals, and Dave Grohl's fantastic work with the drums, that it hit me that, "Gosh. This is brilliant stuff".  As a follow up to this surge in interest in this genre (though much later), I was asked to write a grunge themed story for my college magazine, Cactus Flower. Unfortunately my story never went beyond the second page, but I did delve into a lot of grunge music and did do a lot of research about this genre. And yes, Nevermind somewhat became a way of life for me.

      2. Scenes From a Memory 

artist : Dream Theater
genre : progressive metal
label : Elektra Records
release : 26 Oct 1999

If a music album was defined to be a compilation of songs, then Metropolis Pt 2 : Scenes From a Memory is certainly not one. It is so much more than that. It is an experience that one lives through when he puts it on his headphones and immerses himself in it.

According to Dream Theater, 'Scenes From a Memory' is a concept album. It deals with the story of a person named Nicholas, and the gradual discovery of his past life which involves love, murder and infidelity. The entire album is a play that is divided into two Acts. The characters involved are Nicholas himself, The Hypnotherapist and The Old Man in the present day and Victoria Page, Sen Edward Baynes, and Julian Baynes back in 1928. The first track, Regression depicts Nicholas relaxing to the voice of The Hypnotherapist and entering a hypnotic stage. With every song more revelations occur, and we are made aware of Nicholas' strange connection with Victoria Page. A thrilling yet grim psychological tale unwinds (which I shall not go into, for conciseness' sake) and we are left gaping in awe at the brilliance of the song writers. (You can read the full story here)

Musically, this album is synonymous with sheer awesomeness. The styles utilized to depict the different moods, Portnoy's prowess with the drums, Petrucci's skill with the guitar, and Jordan Ruddess' brilliant work with the keys make for an experience that is surreal to say the least. Having songs that range from the soft and soothing 'Through Her Eyes'  and 'The Spirit Carries On' to classic progressive ones that combine metal, thrash, synths and grunge like 'Beyond this Life' the album cements its position as nothing short of a work of fine art.

If you haven't heard this album, you have missed out. On a lot.

my connection : Dream Theater has always been up there amongst my favorite bands of all time. Scenes From a Memory does not have any of the songs that DT is known for. Yet it occupies a special place in my heart, for the sheer epicness of the content that it delivers.

  3. S&M

artist : Metallica and San Fransisco Symphony
genre : symphonic metal / thrash metal
label : Elektra, Vertigo
release : 23 Nov 1999

This is one album that amazes me solely owing to the concept which, had this album not existed, I would have considered impossible to be implemented.The fusion of symphonic orchestra with heavy metal is actually as brilliant as it sounds and given that the heavy metal here is courtesy none other than Metallica, you would expect a lot from it.
And my. Does it deliver.
This double-album is essentially a live Metallica concert with additional symphonic accompaniment by the San Fransisco Symphony. The symphony was composed by Michael Kamen, who also conducted the orchestra during the concert.

Most of the songs that occur in the album are regular Metallica numbers from their previous albums, and they sound unearthly with all the symphonic sounds in them. Particularly remarkable in the album is symphonic rendition of 'The Ecstasy of Gold' a previously released Metallic instrumental track, and the symphonic version of 'Master of Puppets' a timeless Metallica thrash song.

The album also contains two new compositions, 'No Leaf Clover' and 'Human', which are outstanding in their own way.

What I really like in the album (yes, there is more) is that with all that symphony hullabaloo, Metallica's thrash roots have not been compromised with. Kirk's guitar solos have remain unchanged and they blend into the orchestral music seamlessly. Lars' drumming and Hetfield's vocals are as superlative as ever (he always sounds better in live concerts than in studio albums :-/) and Burton's bass riffs are as terrific. Incidentally this entire idea of a classical approach to heavy metal was Burton's own.

my connection : Fusion music has always intrigued me. And S&M simply happens to be the best fusion album that I've heard. Hence ...

   4. Use Your Illusion

artist : Guns N' Roses
genre : hard rock
label : Geffen
release : 17 Sep 1991

Use Your Illusion is touted as GnR's most ambitious album ever. That's a slight exaggeration considering the fact that they only released four. (By GnR I refer to the Guns N' Roses of the 1990s, the one with Slash, Duff and Matt Sorum, not the abomination that exists today)

Riding high on the popularity of their first album Appetite For Destruction (which was, incredibly well received given the fact it was a debut album), Axl Rose took upon himself the elaborate task of planning this album out in a near perfect manner.
When it was released it set the sales charts on fire and in one week, Use Your Illusion I had sold out 685,000 copies and Use Your Illusion II had sold a staggering 770,000.

This double album is important in the GnR discography mostly because it represents a turning point in their style of music. Although the gangsta' rock n' roll and hard rock elements have been retained, other newer aspects of music have been experimented with, including blues, classical music and country. In fact, Axl himself plays the piano in some of the songs that are included in this album, something which was unheard of during the recording of their first album.

The tracks in this double album vary from rock n' roll (Garden of Eden), hard rock (Civil War) and the down and dirty (Double Talkin' Jive and Get In The Ring) to a cover of Bob Dylan's Knockin' On Heaven's Door. Also a part of this album is the epic ballad trio comprising of November Rain, Don't Cry and Estranged, three songs whose music videos are considered to be an all time classic trilogy.

my connection : November Rain. Slash. Need I say more?

  5. Machine Head

artist : Deep Purple
genre : hard rock

label : Purple Records (UK) / Warner Bros Records (US)
release : 1 Mar 1972

This is the oldest and the only non-American entry in this list. Deep Purple has always been recognized as one of the big three precursors of heavy metal (Led Zep and Black Sabbath being the other two), and this album is one that justifies their position as one of the all time greats in the history of rock. For one, it contains the cult hit Smoke On The Water, which cemented their position in the Rolling Stones List of the 500 Greatest Rock Songs. For another it has Jon Lord and his phenomenal skill with the keyboard which many say haven't been paralleled yet. Frankly speaking, the keyboard solo in Highway Star stills sends a shiver up my spine when I listen to it. Not to mention the brilliant guitars and yes, British vocals (something that is very close to my heart) that make Machine Head one exemplary vintage hard rock classic  to cherish. Not surprisingly, when it was released in the UK, it peaked at number 1 in seven days stayed in the Top 40 for 20 weeks. In the US, Machine Head reached #7 and stayed in the Billboard Top 200 for a staggering 118 weeks.

my connection : Generally speaking I prefer British bands to American bands. There's something in the way they speak which I thoroughly admire and that reflects in their vocals as well. Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and yes, Deep Purple are therefore three of my favourite bands. And well, out of these, this happens to my favourite album.
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PS : I have absolutely no idea why I wrote all this. Wasted a few hours, as one would say. But trust me, it feels blissfully relaxing now.

Love

Love is like a lightsaber:

It burns hot, cuts easily, looks fun in movies but usually ends with someone having no limbs face down in lava.

A New Hope... for the Dark Side

The Galactic Empire had just about written off Earth as being worth sparing, but the actions of one small child suggest that perhaps there is some hope for you yet.

On a trip to the Jedi Academy at Disneyland, Sarah Gallego made the wisest decision of her life. The rest is history.

From all of us here on the Death Star, welcome to the Dark Side, Sarah. You can now enjoy our delicious cookies, Cyborg Limb Replacement Policy, and the ability to shoot lightning at your brother Alex if he bugs you.

Thanks to literally everyone on the internet for the tip, but especially ClawX for being first.

Imperial Oath

In brightest day, in blackest night,

No Rebel shall escape our sight

Let those who worship Jedi's might

Beware our power... Death Star's green light!

The 10 Jerkiest Things Obi-Wan Kenobi Ever Did

While the Rebellion would have you believe that Obi-Wan Kenobi was an excellent mentor, a highly-regarded General, and arguably one of the greatest Jedi Masters ever, the truth is, he was a bit of a douche. In fact, he was such a massive jerk that the hardest thing about writing this list was narrowing it down to just the ten jerkiest things he ever did.

10) Calling Darth Vader a "Master of Evil"

Although he's always been a smug bastard, Obi-Wan took it to a new level when he came face to face with his old apprentice and ex-BFF on the Death Star, calling him a "Master of Evil". Hey Obi-Wan Jerknob-i: when the last time you met, you cut off someone's arm and both of their legs and threw them in to molten lava, you don't get to make a call about who's evil and who's not.

9) Always cutting off everyone's arms

Look, we know we bring this up a fair bit but we really feel that it's a valid point because seriously, doesn't someone with amazing Force powers that include telekinesis, superhuman speed and reflexes, empathy and even limited precognition have A SINGLE BETTER OPTION FOR DISARMING SOMEONE THAN LITERALLY DISARMING THEM? 

8) Training Luke
Although Obi-Wan used the Force for loads of things, he used it most for backflipping like crazy on his opinions. As a younger Jedi, Obi-Wan didn't want Qui-Gon Jinn to train Anakin because he was "too old" for the training at age nine, but was only too happy to train Luke when he was 19. Why? No, not "out of necessity" Kenobi apologists,  but because when you're a hypocritical jerk you can make the rules up as you go along.

7) Not helping Luke on Hoth

Here's the scenario: Your friend has just barely survived a near-fatal crash on a snow planet and is now literally freezing to death. As a ghost who has "become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" by becoming One With The Force, do you:
a) Use your nifty ghost teleportational powers to go get help;
b) Do anything else in any way actually helpful; or,
c) Be a complete jerkbag and ignore the fact that the kid is dying of hypothermia and internal injuries and just give him his next set of marching orders?
You guessed it.

6) Not training Leia

As a child of Anakin Skywalker, Princess Leia inherited great Force powers equal to those of her brother, Luke. So why didn't Obi Wan decide to train her too? Surely two Jedi would have had a better chance fighting evil Sith Lords than one? The answer is simple: Obi-Wan didn't like girls. 
Here's how the Yoda/Kenobi Dagobah conversation actually went:
Obi-Wan: "That boy is our last hope."
Yoda: "No, there is another."
Obi-Wan: "Yeah, I was at the birth, genius. Remember? I just don't count girls."

5) Being a bad friend

So what if love is expressly forbidden by the sacred laws of your ancient religion that has allowed your order of warrior space monks to maintain peace for over ten thousand years? What's so bad about falling in love? What possible downside is their to a moody young Jedi Knight with narcissistic tendencies and a bit of a God complex marrying a career-driven cougar ex-Queen? If Obi-Wan was a better friend, he would have stood by Anakin's decision to be married instead of getting all judgey about it.

4) Not telling Luke and Leia about being brother and sister

We can forgive Obi-Wan for the oversight. I mean, finding out you have a long-lost twin brother or sister probably isn't a big deal for orphans, right? You can certainly see how that little detail might not come up in the many, many hours of conversation aboard a starship hurtling towards the sibling in question. Oh well, it's not like anyone got hurt, because it's not like there's any chance the twins would meet and develop sexy feelings for each other, right?

3) Lying to Luke about his dad

Admittedly, telling the kid you've spent the last 19 years creepily spying on/"watching over" that you were the one who attempted to brutally murder his father is a pretty awkward conversation but it's probably right up there in terms of pretty important information they might want to know before they make the decision to hang out with you. Some people are just weird like that.

2) Leaving Anakin to die

Friends argue. Sometimes they even come to blows. But it takes a pretty special kind of "friend" to cut off your arm and legs and leave you to burn alive in molten lava. Even accepting the fact that Anakin was in some small way responsible for causing the tiff, if you have to be that guy who de-limbs his "friend" and throws them into magma, at least do them a solid for old times' sake and put them out of their incredibly, incredibly painful misery.

1) Hiding the droids we were looking for

By hiding R2-D2 and C-3PO from the great and benevolent Galactic Empire, Obi-Wan was directly responsible for the explosion of the Death Star, which resulted in the deaths of more than 1.3 million people. Sure, maybe a few of them were a teeny bit evil, but what about all of the service staff, subcontractors, senior citizen tour groups, people shopping in any of the 178 beautifully appointed shopping malls, and the sweet, innocent children in the Death Star's 604 baby creches?

In conclusion, Obi-Wan Kenobi: total and utter bastard.

The Death Star was MY idea

The good people at Sneaky Zebra have been working hard on the Galactic Empire's latest advertising campaign. Not that we need one, of course.

The Windows 7 parody completely fresh and original campaign shows the public that what's at the heart of the Death Star isn't a gigantic hypermatter reactor; it's the dedicated, salt-of-the-earth folks who give their all day in, day out to make the Galactic Empire great.

TK-421

"It's a bit of a nightmare going door to door trying to find the droids we're looking for. So I had this idea: what if we could just cut out the middle man and wipe out a planet from orbit?"

Darth Vader

"Wouldn't it most impressive if we had a weapon that was insignificant to the power of the Force?"

Chewbacca

"Rrrawwwrrrlllgghhh! Raawwwrrrr! Groawaarraghr!"

I run the Death Star's PR Department, and the Death Star was my idea.

Franchise

Is being a bad guy getting you down?

Have an evil empire but nobody will take you seriously?

Want to own your own Death Star?

Franchises available, enquire within.

Gentle Ben

Hey, anyone remember how "Gentle" Ben Kenobi had a disturbing penchant for chopping off people's limbs?

Yeah, GREAT guy.

november rain - a story

November Rain occupies a very special place deep within my heart. Maybe it's the feeling that the song invokes when you put it on your headphones and turn up the volume, maybe it's the music video featuring the sweeping scenes of Slash with his yellow Gibson in the desert, or maybe it's the soulful funeral music in the very end.

This story, which follows along the lyrics of this epic GnR ballad, was written 5 months back, and wasn't put up on the blog for some very obscure reason. So in case you are jobless and are willing to read something that has absolutely nothing to do with India winning the world cup, well, then you may.

--

Darkness. Complete and undivided.

As he looked out of the shattered pane of glass, outside the window, out at the dark eerie quietness of the night, he realized that he might as well be looking inwards. For the darkness outside seemed to be but an extension of the darkness within him. Blending into each other with the surety of the passing time. The creases upon his brow did give but a mere hint of his sadness, to whoever would care to look his way. But he knew perfectly well that no-one would. For there was no one left to look his way.

It had started drizzling some time back. And the steady trickling from the darker heavens above was the only sound that made its way into his ears. The sound was beautiful. Sadly beautiful. The melancholic undercurrents were strong in it. And he liked it. He liked it because he liked all things sad and beautiful. He opened his mouth to taste the night air. To taste the moistness and quench his parched throat. But all he tasted was misery. Thick dark misery. He felt liked retching.

It was then that he heard it. Something other than the drizzling, which by then, had transformed into a downpour. Something familiar. Something beautiful.

A tune. A familiar tune, floating in through the cold night air, creeping into his ears. Like some hesitant stranger outside a gate. It took him an instant to recognize the tune. And when he had, he opened his mouth again.

Words flowed out like the endless rain outside. And he sang.

When I look into your eyes,

pause.

I can see a love restrained.

The imagery that floated into his mind was a happy one. He hated it. He hated things which were happy. He let go of it. And it dropped like china on the ground. Shattering in a thousand pieces.

And darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same.

He closed his eyes. And through his closed eyes he saw the interplay of light and dark. He hated light. Light meant happiness. He hated happiness.

'Cause nothing lasts for ever,
And we both know hearts can change.

He laughed. Dry humour-less wry laughter. There are no hearts left to change, he said to himself.

And it's hard to hold a candle,
In the cold November Rain.

He loved this part. No. He liked this part. He did not love. He could not love anymore. He hated love. But yes, he liked it. He liked blowing candles out. It symbolised the triumph of darkness over light. And as he sang, in his mind's eye, the dark rains washed the lights away. 

He sang, even though he wasn't a good singer. Never had been a good singer. Never had he sung. But now, he sang. As if that was the only thing which he could do. He sang with the trickling of the rain. He sang with the darkness around him. He sang with the darkness within him. 

So if you want to love me,
then darlin' don't refrain.
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain.

The rain had lightened now. It was drizzling again. But it was still raining. And that was all it mattered. He liked the rain. He liked the sound. He liked the smell. He liked the taste. He liked how it felt.

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

He was alone. He liked being alone. He liked the sound of being alone. You can hear sounds which you otherwise wouldn't, he had told his mother a long time back. And now, he reveled in the sounds of the solitary. The feeling was blissfully ecstatic.

The tune was still floating in. Riding on the night wind. Unwavering. Resolute. The melody was haunting. Beautiful. Bewitching. It made him breathe in lung-fulls of the night air. Yet he felt strangled. As if the air around him was a cage. And while he heard the tune and breathed in the night air, his hand dropped down.

His fingers felt something solid and hard in his pocket. Something cold.

He knew what it was. And the thought comforted him. He realized that now, he could breathe easier. As if someone had loosened the iron links that made up the cage around him. The load upon his chest seemed to lighten.

He dropped his head and looked down. Smart attire, he observed. A blue tie. A black suit. Black trousers. He liked black. Black was the colour of darkness. He liked darkness. A red ... he frowned. What is that red in my left pocket? Creases furrowed on his forehead. His hands came up and he lifted it. It felt nice. Smooth. Velvety. He looked at it closely.

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

The rain was picking up again. It was getting colder too, he sensed. He liked it. He liked the cold. It calmed him down.

Suddenly in the distance far away, he observed a flickering source of light, through the rain. It was faint and it shone through the water. It shone through the distance. With much trepidation.

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, oh yeah

The fear. The fear of the light. He hated it. It spoiled the purity of the darkness. He detested it. The  shadows. He hated them too. They were caused by light and they were impure. They were bits of darkness caused by light sources. He loathed them frauds.

I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame

Love. Exactly how much he hated love, even he was unsure. But alone. He liked being alone. He liked being the only one left.

He looked out, breathing heavily. The night outside was wilder than he had ever seen it and the rain was heavier. Much heavier. A sudden lightning forking through the night, made him recoil involuntarily. It hurt his eyes. He hated it.

So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way

No. A voice in his head said. He wanted darkness. Not a way out of it.

The thunder rumbled yonder.

He looked at the red in his hand. There was a sudden outburst of realisation. And his eyes popped. His head reeled.

No! The voice was screaming now.

He gasped.

Or maybe it is time, a softer, quieter voice spoke.

It is time, he convinced himself through his gasps.

The cold hard object in his pocket had never felt more comforting.

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain.

There was a muffled crack.

And then silence. Complete. Unbroken Wholesome. Silence.

-

The first glimmerings of dawn were appearing in the distance. Heralding a new day. The rays broke  through the fast dispersing clouds. Filtered through the leaves of the trees. The trees loved it. The night had been cold. And wet. The trees welcomed the light of the new day. 

The sun beams hit the cracked window pane, and infiltrated inside. The sight was sorry. A figure in black lay slumped in one corner. The blood trickling down from the hole in the temple had still not

dried.

In one hand the gun was still smoking. In the other, the rose was still fresh.

-

A tribute to November Rain. And Guns n' Roses.

Star Wars Posters

Just a few of the amazing (mostly non-Star Wars) re-imagined film posters and concept art from Reelizer.

 Luke's Destiny, by Frank Stockton.

Six Against the Galaxy, by Joshua Budich.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, by Tom Whalen.

Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, by Tom Whalen.

The Droids, by Simon C Page.

Star Wars: Episode 5 - The Empire Strikes Back, by Sublevel Studios.

A New Hope, by Olly Moss.

The Empire Strikes Back, by Olly Moss.

Return of the Jedi, by Olly Moss.