Star Wars: The Old Republic

Ah, the Old Republic, those were the days. When men were weird aliens, lots of weird aliens were Sith Lords and women weren't all demanding Princesses in need of rescuing.

Back in the old days, before the Jedi went around making up crazy rules like "Hey, try not to kill people" and "Ruling the Galaxy with an iron-encased fist is bad", you could pretty much go around swinging your lightsaber near whoever you liked and if they happened to get in the way and be chopped to pieces, well, that was their fault. Now that's our kind of Galaxy.

BioWare's upcoming massively multiplayer online role-playing game Star Wars: The Old Republic, set to be released in Spring 2011, will allow players to live, and most probably die horribly a lot, in that universe. Here's the amazingly kick ass intro cinematic "Return".

Thanks to @Lordofthemoo for the tip.

George Lucas Strikes Back

If you thought that George Lucas, the cinematic genius behind the Star Wars and Indiana Jones original trilogies, actually had anything to do with the train wreck that was the prequel movies, you were wrong... dead wrong.

Witness the shocking truth and remember: not all men are created prequel.

"How do you take down an Empire like that?"

"You shoot first."

Via @Glinner.

Return of the Jedi A-Holes

It's common knowledge throughout the Galaxy that the Jedi are complete a-holes, which is why we heroically ruthlessly murdered them all in surprise attacks. Mostly from behind. From as far away as possible.

They steal children away from their parents and allow those children to participate in incredibly dangerous pod races for their own personal gain. They lie constantly about all kinds of stuff that other people MIGHT consider to be a LITTLE bit important, like the fact that those people MIGHT have a father that's still alive and/or a sister they're weirdly attracted to.

So yes, the Jedi are a-holes, but we have to give these two guys some credit for at least being honest about it. Here's "Jedi A-Holes Strike Back".

The Doctor is the Worst Pacifist Ever

We all know the Doctor is a terrible, terrible person. But one thing he is very clear on is that he doesn't do guns. The Doctor outsmarts his enemies, not outguns them. Right? Wrong.

 

 

And here is a video that proves just what a straight up stone cold OG gangsta the Doctor really is.

Ghandi would be proud.

Via io9.

The Worst Couple in the Universe

We've been saying it for a long time: Han and Leia are the worst couple in the universe. He's a cocky douche bag who loves his giant space dog more than real people, she's an uptight Princess with daddy (and brother) issues. Not to mention the fact that they're both terrorists, wanted throughout the galaxy for aiding and abetting Luke Skywalker in the destruction of the first Death Star. Basically, they're both terrible, terrible people.

Thankfully, the good folks of OneMinuteGalactica have released the following excellent instructional video to prove it.

Via Topless Robot.

The Prequels in 2.5 Minutes

It's probably fair to say that some Star Wars fans in recent years have had a few problems with the prequel trilogy, choosing not to see it as the upliftingly epic tale of how a slave boy on a desert planet grew up to become a magic cyborg 2 I.C. of an entire Galaxy.

Instead, the naysayers focus on nitpicky little problems like the "overly complex" and "boring" subplot about Galactic taxation, "too much" reliance on special effects (is that even possible?), "wooden" acting and "plot holes" so big you could drive a Death Star through them.

Let's see what they have to say about this: all three prequels, just the good bits, in under two and a half minutes. With LEGO.

Via Topless Robot.

Existential Star Wars

Ever wondered how much better Star Wars would have been if it was a pretentious foreign film written by Jean-Paul Sarte? You know you have. Well wonder no more, because OneMinuteGalactica has done it for you.

Above all, the video proves that it would be horrible to be in the Rebellion, unless you love being all angst-ridden and despair-y.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I exist, and I find it nauseating."

Droids

These definitely aren't the droids we're looking for... but they're probably close enough. Shoot to kill.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Luke & Leia: The Truth

You are about to be exposed to the truth about sordid details in the private lives of some of the Rebel Alliance's most prominent figures. The documentary footage that you are about to see may sicken you. It may even shock you.

The Rebel Alliance doesn't want you to see this but we know what you want. You want the truth. You can handle the truth.

Thanks to the brave truthwarriors at Topless Robot for digging this up.