In ways, more than one, I represent a typical Indian student. Like a good boy, I studied for my boards, passed them, appeared in competitive examinations, and have scraped through a few of them ... but NEVER EVER have I taken an examination like the one I took yesterday. I earnestly hope that such exams do not EVER fall in my way anymore ... and if they do ... may God bless them.
What I'm referring to is the great Indian Driving Test. Since 18 is the legal age in India to opt for a driving licence, I was well within legal constraints when I applied for a course in motor training at a school in Calcutta. This school goes by the name of Bhagwandas, and has been in this business since 1914. So, in accordance with the schedule, that of thrice a week, this old guy came up to my house in a rattly Maruti 800, and tried to instill in me the basic concepts of car driving. This was to go on for 15 days but after about 10 days I realised, that what I had learnt in these 10 days was nothing but operating a four wheeler ... leave alone driving one. And if you are an Indian, you will know that the heavenly condition of Indian roads ensure that operating a four-wheeler is indeed very different from driving one.
I then realised, that I had to get things going then, and there. So I made it a point to go out every morning with my father, and then my chauffeur, to actually get a feel of the reality. These were the sessions, which actually helped me, and I gained the required amount of confidence to master the Indian roads. Later, when my sessions shifted to the afternoon, and I came face to face with traffic-packed roads, with buses and taxis breathing burnt diesel down my neck, it proved to a be an even better training ground, and my ability to maneuver around these obstacles quite naturally elated me.
Now India is famous for doing everything ... that is it ... whether she does it well or poorly is not her concern at all. But important thing is : she does everything. Common sense tells you that motor-training falls under everything, and logic tells you, that if India does everything, then she must be doing this too. And indeed.
After the 15 days of intensive training (lol!), natural progression demanded I take the driving test. It was on a Saturday that I submitted my learner's licence, and was asked to come to the school (?) on the next Wednesday (the 27th of May) for the test.
I was not scared of this test, since I knew that I would pass this one pretty easily, but I was, to say the least, apprehensive. So when the aforementioned day dawned, I reached the school in my own car, with my chauffeur sitting beside me, and ... waited. (India is famous for making people wait too!!! Here we have queues everywhere ... from maternity wards to cremation grounds!!!) And while waiting, the sights, and the sounds made me ... sick.
This was how, the future motorists of India were being tested? Was this a god forsaken joke? You wouldn't believe it ... that people who had not brought their own cars (the majority), were all piled into one of those training cars, and this load of examinees were ferried around Maddox Square park, making just one lap around it ... and the funniest thing was ... each of the "examinees", got to drive only a couple of meters!!! After this, the whole bunch, belonging to various training schools, were herded like cattle into the red Motor Vehicles building, where they shot a snap of your face, took your finger print, and then, like crows, shoo - ed you away. Made my head reel, my blood boil.
Since I had taken my own car, an even crappier thing happened. My own chauffeur got the responsibility of testing me!!! So, in the far reaches of the park, where no authorised eyes could see, I may well have asked my very obedient chauffeur, to drive !!! No one bothered to check who was driving, no one bothered to know whether I knew which was the clutch, the brake, and the accelerator...
After the test was over, I was taken to an officer for an "oral" exam, where all he asked me was what a red cross on a car meant!!! After that, my photo was taken, and my finger print was recorded, and I made my way back home ...
Am expecting my licence after 20 odd days. So many people are, some of them who have perhaps driven not more than 10 meters in their lives, who will perhaps become the cabbies of the future, and ferry so many passengers from place to place...
Why are accidents in India common? I think we have another option to vote for now!!!
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