WWE : second thoughts

The World Wrestling Entertainment (erstwhile World Wrestling Federation) had given me my share of corny, make-believe, and yes, comical entertainment during my primary and middle school years. During high school I assumed that I had grown out of it, and hence gave up on the habit of following this ridiculous spectacle.

or

And then came college. Along with all of its associated idiosyncrasies. Revival of WWE enthusiasm being one of them. Thanks to DC++ I have (buries head in shame) a few GBs of WWE in my hard drive. And though I view it from a completely different perspective now, it sure is a lot cornier than what I had assumed it to be.

1. People beating each other up was never this funny. Consider this. Two "superstars" Edge and Eddie Guerrero fighting in the ring. Amazing moves, amazing athletics. Amazing what nots. But two seconds after the near lifeless body of Edge lies in the centre of the ring, beaten to pulp ... presto! He's up again! *pow* *biff* *biff* *pow* and very soon it's Eddie's turn to play possum. Sigh. They call it Entertainment Wrestling. Not without reason.
2. Triple H entrance. Cracking song courtesy Motorhead. No issues. Hot chic by his side. No issues. A bottle of mineral water in his hand. Serious issues! A bottle of mineral water which he'll squirt out in the most disgusting manner. Why? Moan.
3. The patience shown by a to-be-chokeslammed victim is interesting. Or for that matter, any to-be-finished victim. No matter how badly beaten up a person is, when someone has taken hold of you by your neck, and is showing off this feat to all and sundry before he lifts you up and slams you down, you do not do nothing! How difficult is that to get? Same applies to the stoopid chap supported against the ropes before Rey Mysterio deals a 6 1 9, or to the oh-so-helpless soul lying in the ring while the Rock savours a People's elbow.
4. Some moves don't hurt. No matter how realistic they try and make it. Kurt Angle's leg lock is one such move. A creased forehead and furious swearing do not hide the fact that you are just holding his legs in your hand ... and that's it. You could as well be holding a purring kitty without a hiccup in the same manner!
5. Tag Team matches. Roll-over-the-ring-laughing stuff. Specially when one chap from each team is as badly hurt as the other. In fact, they are "so equally hurt" that they take the exact same time to crawl across the ring and tag their partner at the exact same instant. Whoa. Radium clocks seem jurassic after this.
6. Food brawls. I guess these are intentionally made funny. Because they don't turn out to be so. It pains me to see the amount of food getting wasted, assuming of course, that the food is at least, real.
7. Off-the-ring issues. This is when one actually starts questioning the "Wrestling" in "World Wrestling Entertainment". Because it might just have been "World Soap Entertainment" executed nicely.

and that is all that they do.

give me MY AQUAFINA!!!

take your time Kane. I'm waiting.

my jaws hurt more now

He is as hurt as I am, and these two are equally hurt as well.

not cool.

now we're speaking.

But all said, it's fun watching these big men and criticizing them as well. Rey Mysterio's aerial feats. The Undertaker executing a Chokeslam. A Brock Lesnar superplex. The divas (oh yes!) and of course, the off-the-ring dramatics as well.

Howver if you are the WWE fanatic, who has idols of John Cena kept in his cupboard which you bring out every night and kiss yourself to sleep ... I really don't know what to say.

Wrapping up with some light humour.