Friday, October 9, 2009

the most painful Birthday ever ....


Those who have read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets may recollect the name of the first chapter viz 'The Worst Birthday'. The teeny weeny portion of my entire lifespan beginning yesterday at around 11:45 PM and lasting till today 3:00 PM ... very nearly became one. In fact had it not been for some other not-so-bad stuff that silently crept into my life during these hours, it ould have indeed become 'THE Worst Birthday'.

Since its a good habit to begin at the beginning, I shall, without further ado, do the same. And in case, if you are still wondering why this hullabaloo about a birthday, and whose birthday it is, let me clarify all doubts and enlighten you with the fact that today was ... no not Harry Potter's ... but mine very own birthday ...

Since I had already seen the degree of ... erm ... harsh treatment, a poor BITSian Birthday Boy (or maybe a Girl too, I'm not too sure on that front) ... has to endure on his/her birthday, for the simple reason of being born on this date several years back, I had drafted a plan in my mind some time back, to make an attempt at reducing the same that would invariably descend upon me. So, it was a very indiscreet me, who locked his room door from inside and prepared to take out his Biology text book to start studying for the exam on the day after the next. That was when disaster struck. Not a bolt from the blue, rather, a bolt from the murky dark. (I was actually expecting it ...).

As you may observe from the lack of exclamation marks in this post so far, that I am far from an exuberant state of mind at the moment. The events that happened thereafter more than justify such a mental state. The disaster that I mentioned a few lines back ... was in the form oft he Biology text book, that was missing.

I was obviously very much aware of the gang which was behind this malevolent act, but I decided to maintain a low profile, and ... quietly borrowed another guy's textbook, turned on some Metallica on my phone, locked the door, and started studying. After some time and a rather casual dinner, I quietly slunk back into my room (my roomy was roting stuff in the library), locked the door, and re-embarked on the process of learning. It was around 10:00 that I realised I should got to sleep, otherwise, things might just turn out to be hairy. It was precisely at 10:30 that there was a soft rap on the door. The butterflies that had calmed down in my gut, started fluttering again. It was my super-sidey (thats BITSian lingo for the sidey's sidey), who bore this cheeky grin on his face ... which even a lay-man could decipher as "We Know ... you can't hide the fact". I heaved a sigh of relief ... that the conflicting emotions in my brain could now end, and that my destiny was inevitable( as it generally is). After a lot of show of illness, fever, and other such faked stuff ... that was far from convincing, I managed to arrive at a pact. I would do, what was wanted of me, provided I was allowed to sleep peacefully till midnight. This evil creature then left, with another condition that I just couldn't reject ... if I didn't wake up, I wouldn't see my Biology textbook. As you can understand, a very cleverly hatched conspiracy. The pact was sealed, and I was left ... in the darkened room ... apprehensive of what could possibly happen. As the guitar solo of 'Enter Sandman' died down ... I turned off the music and went off to sleep. Or was it sleep? It was more of an unstable state of mind, copuled with a voluntarily immobilsed body ... fraught with demented thoughts and the wish to live long ... or at least ... till morning.

I awoke with a start ... when some five pairs of hands shook me harshly. It was 11:45 PM, and there was this evil glint in the eyes of the miscreants, that plainly read ... "You can't escape" ...
I had to succumb to their demands ... as I was lifted by my limbs ... and taken outside the room and in the corridor. More people flocked around me, till I could identify at least twenty ... all bent on the one plan of making this night ... a hellishly memorable one for me. The kickes flew in from all sides, and all angles. idecide that there was no use protesting, so I just closed my eyes, and thought of birthday cakes, teddy bears, warm cushions ... but the more the kicks that kept landing on my poor bu** ... the more my thoughts kept deviating towards ... iron maidens, and racks, and other medieval instruments of torture. Suddenly it stopped and I was put back on my feet. My posterior was aching ... I would have actually been surprised had it not ... but I could walk. There was a lot of shouting and cheering and jeering going on around ... pictures were clicked ... pictures I dare not put up on the net ... and there was around of wishing me a very (ironically) happy birthday. No sooner had I thought, that the treatment was over, than round 2 commenced. This time, with a change of state. the previous round had comprised of solid kicks ... this time it was liquid water ... frigid and numbing. As two entire buckets were empttied upon me, I stood under the waterfall ... teeth chattering and entire body shivering like that of a doe in front of a lion. Round 2 part A was next followed by Round 2 part B ... which was similar to part A except that this time there were two bottles of fevicol mixed in the chilled water. I couldn't stand this anymore ... as the first bucket headed my way, I caught its top and swung it the other way around .... and there was one of the gangsters ... soaked in a fevicol-H2O concoction, and a vindictive smile on my face. With one man down , I had to fend off the rest ... but this time lady Luck was on my side, and as the second guy came rushing at me with another of those potent fevi-H2O mixture, he skidded and slipped on the massive water puddles and emptied the entire mixture in the corridor ... Two down!!!

This was when my tormentors thought ... "Enough is Enough", and allowed me to go for a midnight bath ... to clean myself of whatever had gotten upon me. But by then, I already had had received some 10 missed calls on my phone from my good friends in other parts of the country ... so I had to opt for some rapid and a rather shivering telephonic conversation with some of them. before hading for a bath. There is also a "Gaseous" part to a standard BITSian birthday torture, and another incredibly painful episode called "Rapid Fire" ... which thankfully they decided against. After the bath was over, I took out my wingoes to the All Night Canteen and treated everybody to whatever they wanted ... and after that, we decided to visit the haunted wing of Gandhi Bhawan. That and the other BITS Ghost stories shall suffice as the contents of some other posts . After the treating was over ... I came back to my room, and went to sleep ... it was around 2:00 AM in the morning.

With that I thought that the "celebrations" of my first Birthday, had ended ... but ... false hopes. It was precisely 2:45 today afternoon when I got this call from this friend in my neighbouring Bhawan ... he needed me desperately to solve some Rotational Dynamics problem, and he had a tutorial test at 3 ... so I had to get up and from the afternoon siesta that I was enjoying and hurry for his Bhawan. Poor gullible me!!! I had just stepped into his wing when commandos jumped up from all around ... and a painful realisation dawned upon me. A planned ambush, was it? And a planned ambush was it. The same thing that had happed the previous night follwed ... and believe me these kicks felt way more harder and crueler ... on my poor sore bu**.

That lasted for around 15 minutes, and after another ironical round of wishing me a happy birthday ... I escaped and went off to sleep. After an hour or so resting my bu** on the soft mattress of my bed .... well ... here I am ... writing this.

PS; well the one good thing that happened to me was that I received my Chemistry Test 1 marks and I had scored a whopping 35 where I had expected around 20.

Plus of course ... there was that additional, latent joy of experiencing my first B'day in college.

Thank you all guys!!! for making it so memorable!!! (Now, that is honest :D)


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